i’ve become too normal
It’s been getting harder and harder to get up from my bed for some reason. At the same time, it was getting harder and harder to do the things I usually do, and I usually end up sleeping by the time I get home from school. It’s strange for me since this usually only happens when I’m really stressed out about something. I would have these “panic attacks” (probably isn’t?) where I would breath heavily whilst being paralyzed, glued to the wall or floor.
This time it was different. I didn’t think of anything at all. I don’t have any negative emotions either. And there was nothing different to the things I do on the daily recently as well. It just felt normal. So, it was very confusing.
But, I think that’s actually where everything is wrong. Sure, the state of normality can be a good thing. It can bring out a sense of calm and ease in a situation. But what if things were TOO normal? Normal to the point that the earth just stopped rotating for my existence? Is this what it’s like?
If it is, then, I hate it. It’s because of it that I always know what to expect for the majority of my days. It’s because of it that I could not think of anything that could woo me. As a result, I was no different to that of a cadaver.
It made me think about that one sketch I promised to finish, the novel I wanted to write about, and the book I longed to finish.
Seneca was right, I do suffer more this way :/
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