accepting and thanking the moment
You know, honestly, life is pretty tiring as you get older. Moving up an age is commonly met with more responsibilities, harder tasks, harder thoughts. The amount of paperwork in your mind stacks, and stacks, and stacks, until you just end up lifeless on your chair. Most importantly, people are beginning to come and go more often.
And honestly, I’m tired. No doubt about it.
I am still pretty early in my life if I say so myself, but why is waking up slowly becoming harder as each day passes by? If I do get up, the body instantly numbs, and my eyes would go tired, anxious to make that first step. I’m afraid. The unknown, the unexplored territory of just losing everything.
As a consistently passing student, a question always popped up in my head: What if I fail?
An interesting question I faced when taking my first steps into Stoicism was “What if everything you ever had was just taken away from you in an instant? How would you feel?” Others would definitely be devastated, feeling all sorts of emotions. But, a Stoic would simply start over, and accept and be grateful for what he had in the moment: his directing mind. In other words, his humanity which lies within his very cranium.
As someone who had those disturbing thoughts come up from time to time when I was on the brink of insanity, what I have learned from Stoicism taught me things that made me think for a bit, then calm me down somehow.
Classical music was also a big lifesaver in my darkest times. It was like my lullaby, exploring emotions like lying down on the grass and watching the clouds pass. It really showed me the beauty of this singular life, this once in a lifetime experience that I would certainly say, lucky, to be in.
Mixing these two, I would have the perfect combination. Even if my life began to crumble in front of my very eyes, my education burning down, my loved ones fading, I would send them my regards, thankful that I was able to be with them in the first place, and start over.
While when I am with them on the other hand, I would give them the biggest hug as much as possible in the moment, I would do my best for them. I would be thankful and make the most with them. But most importantly, I would be thankful for myself for being with them, and for trying my best to live a good life.
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